Penny & Gordon’s Wedding

 

The 3rd of February was to be a special day for Treakle for two reasons. Not only was it the clubs second anniversary but also the day Penny & Gordon had chosen to get married after a very lengthy engagement.

The plan was for the blokes to meet at Treakle HQ & ride from there & the Girls to meet at Hazels. After an uneventful ride over, I arrived at HQ to find Ian the Pipe, Kev the M*d already there. Kev & Ian were having the who’s more M*d conversation. Kev won on account of having hair!

Gordon passes me a Mug with a drop of Rum in saying it’ll keep the cold out. Good. I was bloody frozen at this point having just dropped my big coat off at the outlaws en route. Brrrrr!

Before long more & more familiar faces from other clubs, including the Burton Brewers & B5000’s were turning up & the Cul de Sac was now a sea of scooters ready for the ride down to the registry office.

At half two we set off. The noise was deafening, but worse I was right behind Alex who had been a bit too liberal with the two stroke in his GP. As a result visibility was down to about two feet. I was fully convinced I was going to have carbon monoxide poisoning by the time I got there. Why are Lambretta exhausts angled so that they belch their fumes directly in the face of the person behind?

We arrived at the registry office & parked the scoots up & waited for Penny to arrive. Now most brides arrive at the church late & in some form of wedding car, maybe even a Horse Drawn Carriage. Nope, were Treakle we do thing differently. Especially for the day, Henry the Hearse had been given a major make over. Including a fresh coat of Matt Black paint & the clubs logos. The best bit though was the words Treakle Town Scooter Club, The only way out is death on the back window.

Penny steps out of the Hearse to cheers & a sea of camera flashes, with everyone saying how lovely she looked. Sadly Bob (or should it have been Roberta?) totally steals her lime light coming dressed in a long blue dress & blonde wig!!! I think it took me 5 minutes to stop laughing!

All to soon we were called into the registry office & I think it’s the only time I’ve seen Gordon or Penny looking nervous.  With us all sat down, cracking jokes & pretending to cry, You do something to me by Paul Weller came on  & a terrified Penny walked up the isle escorted by her dad. Much to everyone’s amusement best man Kev the M*d jumped up asking Gordon to marry him instead !!!
Normally wedding services are quite humourless, but Gordon asking for some help when we were asked if there was any reason the two couldn’t be joined in matrimony was well funny. The actual wedding vows seem to take forever to complete. I’m amazed Gordon didn’t have severe bruises to his left hand they way Penny was squeezing it!

He does, she does, wedding certificates signed, it was time for photographs confetti & all the usual stuff that goes with these occasions.

The wedding reception being held at The Boot and I decided to drop my scoot off so I could enjoy the Abbot Ale & then make my way up there, so I missed most of the ride over, but the faces of people we went past on the bit of the ride out I was on were a picture. A hearse plastered with the clubs logo, being followed by 30 odd scooters. Where else would you see that on a Saturday afternoon? Classic!

Unfortunately(?)The speeches had already been done & I just arrived in the nick of time to grab some of the rapidly disappearing Sausage & Mash. Everyone was saying how good it was & it made a welcome change to Egg sandwiches & Cheese & Pineapple on a stick. Grab myself a Pint or 3 & its time for a catch up with a few people for the usual Piss taking & banter. About half 5 we all started to leave to get scoots back home & get ready for the 2nd anniversary do at the Co-Op club.

I didn’t realise it at the time, but things were about to take a bit of a downward spiral for me when Paddy asked if I fancied a quick trip to Church End Brewery. Did I ever!
Gordon’s parting words were don’t get too wobbly……………. Oh dear!
My bluff was well & truly called when I was asked what I fancied to drink & I said one of everything. Moments later I’m presented with a rack of 8 glasses, each a third of a pint. This really was one of everything! Now for the challenge. Just over half an hour to drink them all!
Challenge completed & laughed at we picked up a jug of Vicars Ruin for later. Problem with drinking so quickly is it hits you harder. I wasn’t so much wobbly when I got to the Co-Op club as totally cabbaged!

………………See Treakle second Anniversary do for the rest of the story……………

BY Nasty Nigel